If we’re trying to get to the C-suite, why are we stopping at the mall?
I’m having a disconnect.
One of my women’s career networks – one that boasts an exclusive membership of business professionals, lawyers, politicians, scientists, doctors and more, just sent me an invitation to attend a webinar entitled “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough.”
Huh?
Ok, I’m not saying that this webinar wouldn’t include some valuable information for many of us women, but seriously, what does this have to do with the business network?
Can anyone actually imagine a situation where a men’s business organization would offer a seminar about how to find Mrs. Right?
Are they trying to reduce the size of their membership by marrying off their members to the first available guy?
Or, is this actually a ploy to get women to refocus on their career aspirations and achieve financial security so as to avoid having to settle for Mr. Wrong?
Regardless, it pays to note that the seminar is not even listed on their web site – maybe because it would ruin the credibility of the organization as a place for serious professionals?
…Ya think?
In a country where women are still earning about 80 cents on the dollar compared to men, women’s organizations have a particular responsibility to stop playing into stereotypes and start focusing on topics that can help us achieve the career success we deserve.
Here’s what that means to me…
For starters – let’s please eliminate the beauty and dress-for-success break out sessions at so-called women’s conferences.
(Digression #1: If you are clueless about what to wear, then pick up a copy of Glamour magazine, enlist the help of a personal shopper, or check out an episode of “What Not to Wear.” Hint: this might be obvious, but at a simplistic level, just make sure you cover up your belly ring and keep your “girls” in check.)
(Digression #2: And, before you go thinking that I’m all business 24/7, I can assure you that it not the case. I love fashion and make up and all that “girly-girl” stuff. Want proof? I’m on a first name basis with all the staff at Barney’s and Sephora. Seriously, check it out. And, if you buy me a martini, I might even admit to thinking Hello, Kitty is super cute.)
Ok, now back to the subject at hand…
Seriously, LADIES! There is a right time and place for everything!
Make-up and fashion consultants, mani-pedis and mini back rubs at conferences make me cringe, as do flowery gift bags loaded with beauty products. Do men do this stuff at conferences? Uh, no. They don’t. Do we need this at our conferences? Uh, no we don’t. Or at least we shouldn’t – idealistically. IMHO. Feel free to disagree.
Instead, women’s conferences should spend time on substantive topics that could make a difference and perhaps open a few doors, such as:
- how to negotiate and get the salary or title you deserve
- how to get respect in a world of old boys’ and their old boys’ networks
- how to break through the glass ceiling and join the C-suite
- how to make sure you’re not outdated when you return to work after having a baby
- how to change corporate culture to embrace more collaborative, women-oriented workstyles and lifestyles
- how to project confidence and feel comfortable bragging about your accomplishments (come on, we all know it works)
- how to start your own business, etc.
Ok, now that I got that off my chest, I need to dash. I have a webinar to sign up for. 
Oh, and one last thing btw, if you’re not doing anything this afternoon, maybe we could meet up at Bloomie’s? I hear they are having an excellent shoe sale.
******************************************************************************************************************
Special Note: For women in Boston, there is an interesting conference coming up on Saturday, February 6, 2010.
The 19th Annual Dynamic Women in Business Conference – from the Women’s Student Association at the Harvard Business School. Hope to see you there!
******************************************************************************************************************
And not just a webinar on “dating”, but one about “settling”? The mind boggles. I see that the webinar stems from a best-selling book. Fine, but you’re right: it’s just not for a business setting.
The topics in your own bulleted list are all apropos and excellent for women’s conferences. Perhaps conference-organizing should be in your future!
A similar discussion (ok, argument) I had once was about whether or not Working Woman was “the best-selling business magazine.” Yes (it had the best numbers and did cover some of your bulleted points), but also No (it wasn’t mostly about the operation of business per se; it was more about how to be a woman in business).
At what point does a “business” publication/conference/webinar devolve into a “lifestyle” one?
As for your personal comments: 1) Hello Kitty has no mouth, and 2) my mother worked at Bloomingdales and always had the sweet 20% coworker discount.
We aren’t helping ourselves. Neither as individuals nor as professional organizations.
I have seen this behavior perpetuated at women’s professional development conferences. I once watched a woman introduce a renowned leadership and management expert prior to his speech and actually reference how good-looking he is. She very quickly realized this was a faux pas – if not on her own, then certainly from attendees’ feedback. Had a man done this to any woman, he would have been raked over the coals for the inappropriate comment.
The very same organization that offers seminars helping women earn board of director seats held a fashion show during our lunch session, and spa treatments were available to us throughout the day at one exclusive conference. While I love a massage as much as the next woman, I don’t go to conferences for them. In the organization’s defense, they also offer behind-the-scenes tours of successful women in our industry in each city in which they hold a conference. And they have incorporated golf tournaments into their events, which I do believe is a more gender-neutral activity. These decisions I applaud.
Is the dating webinar/spa treatment phenomenon just a question of finding a female-equivalent of male-oriented diversions? I don’t think so.
In business terms, I see it as a marketing issue. Either the member-customers are putting up with gender-stereotyping programming, or the conference planners are putting sponsor-provided freebies above the needs of their customers, as in Pamela’s cosmetic goodie bag example. In either or both cases, it’s a gap between customer needs and product design.
There are some important male-female differences that lend themselves to different programming. For instance, I don’t know many men who struggle with work-life balance – at least who admit it. So it’s appropriate to offer such seminars at conferences because they have work implications. I doubt, however, that a fashion show or dating webinar is what any professional woman seeks from a professional organization. There are plenty of alternatives that would be worthwhile – how about showcasing a charitable concern, for one?
Individuals need to speak up and voice their preferences and opposition so that event programming matches an organization’s mission. And professional associations need to filter the content, vendors, affiliates, and referrals they provide against the mission they serve for members.
You could say I am pretty hot under the collar about this. But I won’t describe that collar, the shirt, where I bought it, or how much I paid, because I am a serious professional.